Ta-ta-toos

I'm sorry I keep posting daily deals, but they are just so ridiculous. Today: boob stickers. For 25 freaking dollars.

Not the way the Governator would have done it.

Props to Governor Jerry Brown and his fabulous note to the state senate. 

NO THANK YOU

A shark that floats in the air, giving you nightmares forever, for only $26.

Gilt may have jumped the shark.

$300 axes. Yes, I'd say it has.

A List

Of things from which I am currently deriving satisfaction. Because in my world, people are solid and good, but things are problematic. There are too many of them or too few of them (both of these apply to jordan almonds), they break, they're too expensive, they get lost. So when a Thing comes along that is solid and good like its human counterparts, I derive satisfaction.

• My new bathrobe. It was expensive, but since I am so much colder than the average person (37% more cold, to be exact), it was worth it. Also I had a discount code.
• This delicious-smelling body wash. Mike got it as a freebie from work, and I have almost used up the tube in a little over two weeks. I have started showering in the mornings rather than at night just because the citrus smell makes the beginning of my day so much better.
• In a similar vein, Dr. Bronner's peppermint bar soap is badass. I came upon it when we were visiting Mike's brother and sister in law, and I loved how strong it is. It will wake your shit UP.
• Cover Girl's Outlast all day whatever whatever lip stuff stays on for real. I put it on before a 30 mile bike ride on Saturday (yes, yes I did) and it stayed on through wind, through lunch, and through some epic snot. 
• Our wall-mounted towel dryer, which is something like this one except ours wasn't $150. I say "dryer" instead of "warmer" because in our ground-floor no-sun apartment, towels never dry on their own, which means using a damp towel for the week until it gets laundered. Unacceptable. This device has changed my life.

I realize all these things have to do with warmth and vanity. So be it. I would rather be warm and vain than cold and...still vain.

Maybe one day soon I will make a list of things that I have managed to drop and spill and lose recently. Except that would make me sad, and I would use up all my free citrus body wash trying to make myself feel better.

Recommendation

Happiness:

1. Take your favorite chocolate chip cookie recipe.
2. Make it with super fancy butter that you bought at the farmer's market before you realized how expensive it was but after you had already told the butter churner or whoever they were how excited you were about their butter.
3. Instead of chocolate chips, use Heath bar toffee bits, which you can buy in a big bag at magical stores like Target.

Seriously, do it. You will not be even a little bit sorry.

I think I have the beginnings of carpal tunnel. How weenie is that? Very weenie. But it is also what I get for working for two weeks from Texas couches and armchairs in positions that would make an ergonomist faint. I also haven't used a mouse since I got my Mac three months ago, putting stress on my poor right thumb.

As a result, this past weekend was a very welcome break from typing (and work in general), and we made the most of it - if by "made the most" I mean - "engaged in a variety of healthy and unhealthy pursuits that brought us pleasure". We exercised, we ate, we got things done around the house, we drank beer. Thanksgiving was as lovely as always, we got out into the natures on our bikes and our feets, and we did a lot of cuddling on the couch with our cats, watching what I now know to be the Avengers series - Captain America, Thor, and Iron Man 2. The cat cuddling was the highlight though.

Um.

From SFist: Couple states Star Wars engagement photo shoot.

I am just so happy these two found each other. 

Google glamour. With a "u".

Wow. Wow. Wow. Refinery 29, a fashion blog that I have seen people link to but have not actual read myself, posted an article on Google ladies who dress up for work. I know these chicks! They not only dress up, they dress far out. As in 6 inch wooden heels, tiny shorts, and matching outfits for their dogs. They came in with the Like.com acquisition (which became Boutiques.com, which is now part of Product Search), and while I think they usually look heinous, I appreciate their dedication to getting up early to put some thought into their appearance. They are definitely the only ones on campus who do.

My favorite part is where one of the ladies says, "I'm on the hunt for an emerald green velvet holiday dress that is super pretty and accidentally sexy." Maybe I am just Jerry Sandusky-d out, but the idea of being accidentally sexy strikes me as deeply creepy.

In short, I highly recommend you take a look at that article.

The juice life

Mike is home, I'm settled back in from my travels, and life is good. I'm having to put on the space heaters when I get home at night, and drink lots of tea, but that's fine by me. I'm not saying that I love it when it gets dark at 5 p.m., but there is something nice about it when you live in a place without clearly defined seasons. It doesn't ever smell like Fall in San Francisco. It does get nippy in the mornings, but that's not really any different than a foggy summer morning. So the early dark is the clearest sign we've got that time is moving along.

The other sign that time is moving: I bought a juicer, because I have apparently embraced my late-20s yuppiehood with a vengeance. It is a beautiful piece of machinery, capable of pulverizing fruits and vegetables with a single snarl. It is immensely satisfying to use. So far I have been chucking in grapefruit, apple, kiwi, lemon, carrot, celery, kale, and fennel. It's delicious, and makes for a beautiful orangey juice.

Part of the reason the juicer felt necessary was that I was in a pretty gross state when I got back from Texas. A week and a half of eating and drinking too much and sleeping too little had piled up, and I wasn't happy to be heading back to Real Life while Mike stayed in Austin. So retail therapy + the promise of a healthier life resulted in a trip to Bed, Bath & Beyond with a coupon in hand.

I am not supposed to go to Bed, Bath & Beyond alone because I buy too many things. Way too many things! But those things are always so useful. Like a towel for your hair that you can lash into place on top of your head, or a pot lid organizer for the pantry, or, say, a JUICER. I also bought a box of jordan almonds that I ate in one sitting, but we can talk about my jordan almond problem another time.

Aside from dedicating my credit card bill to B, B & B, I cooked my butt off on the nights that I was home alone and Mike was in North Carolina (embarrassing Bank of America at their headquarters). I made a curry split pea soup, a warm salad of eggplant with arugula, basil and feta, and roasted the heck out of pumpkin seeds with brown sugar and cayenne.

I also took the week off from alcohol (that's a bottle of sparkling water you see there) to detox from our Texas celebrations. And to prep for a party with an open bar, which I'll post about later...

Treeeeehouse!

Between work and travel, things have been very busy over the last two weeks. I have managed to carve out time, however, to discover that there is a treehouse that you can rent just south of San Francisco. All future visitors will be encouraged to stay there, just so I can see it in real life.

Analyze this

Last night I had two dreams that I remember. Both of them are so cliched as to be ridiculous.

1. I was at the house of an acquaintance, for what I believed to be a Halloween party. Once I walked in, got myself a glass of wine and some finger foods and settled into a chair, however, I realized it was a wake. People were going around in a circle weepily telling stories about their dearly departed, who I did not know. Soon it was going to be my turn to speak. I had to figure out how to leave discreetly. Before they got to me, they decided to move into the other room, where the body was. The anxiety of that moment - what do I do now? - is all I remember.

2. I woke up on a Thursday and realized that Saturday was my birthday, and I had no plans. That was sad. I tried to think about what to do with a group of people - day activity? night activity? I thought just going to a bar would be boring, and so would a house party. I was sad that I didn't have any creative ideas. I asked a friend, who suggested a Sonoma day trip. Too short notice, I thought. She suggested Fly Bar. Well ok, I said, can you come? No, she said - my parents are in town, and we're going to a tattoo convention.

And that is how very dull anxiety dreams get weird.

Occupy?

I am sitting at my kitchen table with a glass of red wine and a mixing bowl of Funfetti batter, trying to decide whether to go Occupy SF. The batter is going into mini donut pans, which I bought in a fit of Bed Bath & Beyond-induced insanity (real affliction), and while I have absolutely no idea if cake batter is going to work as mini donut battter, it seems worth a try. The red wine is because I ate a few (read: many) spoonfuls of batter and needed to cut the sweetness, and also because I thought it would help me decide.

I really don't want to be part of any big out of control protest - I am claustrophobic and afraid of loud noises, much like a cocker spaniel - but my guess is that Occupy SF won't be like Oakland. The rumor is that the SFPD is raiding it tonight, which is why all my friends are going. As I ponder joining them, I've also been coming up with a number of possible Facebook status updates.

• To tell you the truth, I'd rather be occupying my couch tonight, but it's time, friends. It's time.
• Friends, family, and colleagues: don't worry about me getting teargassed, as I am way too chickenshit to do anything but stand on the periphery and run away if things get intense.
• Please don't fret about me, I'll be fine tonight, because I can just tell the riot police that authority figures love me. That always works.

This last one is a reference to a time that I attempted to talk two cops out of arresting friends. When they told me to back away and shut up, I told them they were reacting incorrectly. Authority figures love me! They were unimpressed.

I will probably go for a bit tonight, but leave if it starts heating up. I can't even cut an onion, dude - I'd be a seriously liability if I got teargassed. On the other hand, Mike is going, and I'd like to support him and our other friends. I also support the movement . Even though it obviously has its flaws, all populist movements do, and I think the cause is spot on. The fact that I have more Facebook update ideas than specific reasons for wanting to go tonight is troublesome, but I really am excited by what's going on in the world right now - and angry at the way that corporations legislate through our elected officials - and I'd like to show it in some way other than online petitions.

So I'm going to finish my brew - did I mention I'm brewing a batch of beer right now? - and see where I end up when it's done. If you see a photo of me tomorrow on the homepage of your newspaper of choice, looking bloody and disoriented, just blame the Funfetti.

Franzia

My brother is ridiculous.

Putting in the kilometers

I covered some serious ground today, and my feet are feeling it. It started with a morning run along the Tiber...

That led to post-run pastry ogling...

 Which inevitably led to post-run pastry consuming (sfogliatelle, my favorite)...

 And then, belly full, I noticed - and applauded - the rim of bike lane that is the shore of the Tiber...

And, after my wine and cheese tasting class, I strolled past galleries like this one, with some hilarious Obama/Clinton art...

And after walking through the Foro Romano and the Palatino and circling the Colosseum, I ended up here...

Where I enjoyed a beer, then rambled on for some wine and dinner. I like eating dinner in a restaurant alone, though I wouldn't want to do it all the time. I sat and read this fascinating Atlantic article on gun control, sipped a white wine (which I now know, after wine class, that I like because it's mineral-y!), and ate stuffed squash blossoms, the best penne arrabiata I've ever had, and seared tuna. And now I go to bed, because in the morning I head to Frankfurt. Boo.