Grind

I realize it is deeply uncouth to complain about being tired after a vacation. But really, my recent adventure was EXHAUSTING. Exciting and indulgent, but also physically and emotionally draining. I love travel more than almost anything else in the world, but it's a guaranteed way to create some serious emotional ups and downs.

Today is my first day back in the office, and for the first time in a long while I'm realizing exactly why it's called the daily grind. I feel like I got ground down today, a little bit around the legs and the neck. Maybe the shoulders too. My teeth definitely did, grit grit grit. My job is interesting, my coworkers a delight, but a day at a desk wears on you. The waking up before your body wants to, the hurry to get all the usual things done (pee-wash-brush-dress-eat-pack-dash), the commute, the sitting under fluorescent lights in recirculated air, the arrival home and subsequent panic that there are only 4 or 5 hours left in the day for Real Life. I work for the best employer in the world - I should have nothing to bitch about. But I am a champion tooth grinder and jaw clencher, and if I am doing something I think is important I will not get up from my desk to pee, even if I have had to go for like 3 hours. As follows, I don't drink nearly enough water. My blood is probably clotting in my leg veins as we speak.

I'm also stymied by the mid-afternoon snack. It's completely necessary - by 3 or 4 p.m. I'm super hungry - but in my many years of adulthood I still haven't tracked down the perfect afternoon nosh. Sweet treats are too sweet; fruit isn't filling enough (don't even get my started on what an absolute snack sham bananas are); chips and crackers are too salty; nut butters aren't good enough on their own; and yogurt gets gross if you eat it every day. Suggestions welcome.

So what to do, aside from quit my job to become a shepherd somewhere in Sonoma, then start an arty wool shop with the fleece of my flock? Well, I vow to drink more water, to start. That will force me to stand up more often, which seems like a plus. And I'd like to say I'll grind my teeth less, but that's just not going to happen. I have plans to stash some workout clothes in my desk so I can dash out for a quick run if I feel like I'm getting sucked into braindead land. And finally, I'm going to use my words - I'm going to blog here more, or write stories, or email amigos to pull me out of deskdom at the end of the day. Every once in a while, anyway.