Survivor

So I am doing this Survivor Challenge thing at work. I have four weeks to complete the following activities, at my own pace. Note that the second number below represents what I have actually done. Please don't laugh yet; this thing only started on Monday. You'll have time to mock me later.

Run: 15 miles. Actual: 4 miles.

Cycle: 45 miles. A: 0.

Row: 15,000 meters. A: 1000.

Stair climb: 300 floors. A: 0 (I am not counting real-life stair climbing; it has to cause maximum misery, and therefore be in the context of Exercise).

Wall sit: 25 minutes. A: 2.5.

Front plank: 15 minutes. A:2.

Push ups: 500. A: 20.

Superman: 15 minutes. A: 1. If you don't know what the Superman is, here is a diagram. If you picture the figure shaking and sweating, you have a good sense of what it is like when I do it.

In any case, as much as I enjoy discussing my unachievable goals, I lay all this out as an introduction to this Onion article, which made me laugh so much that my poor overworked abs cramped. It is my favorite Point/Counterpoint ever.

A note on the text: it is indeed about Sarah Palin, and I know there is some Palin fatigue out there (I'm looking at you, Drespel). But this is worth it, I promise. It is juvenile and it is cruel and I love it.